Ups, Downs and Uncertainties

Sometimes life is smooth sailing, and sometimes it slams into you in waves.

Remember a couple months ago when I started this blog and I said things were calming down and life felt stable? That little interlude is over.

Some things are okay, and maybe a blessing in disguise, but life is full of uncertainties right now. My husband has been out of work for about 2.5 months now. It is stressful and hard not to worry about finances, but leaving that job was the right choice, regardless of what comes. The job search has taken longer than we thought, but that may be for the best because I have needed him with me lately.

Related to the job search, we have decided to sell our home. We've talked about it off and on for a couple years now, and this seems like a good time to go ahead and do it. But the whole process of getting your house ready, selling it and moving sucks and just adds one more layer of uncertainty.

Thanksgiving 2013

The most momentous event, and the hardest to talk about, happened this week. My dad passed away on Monday, May 19 at the age of 60. As many of you know, my dad had a stroke about 2 years ago. It has been a roller coaster for the whole family since then, with his health going up and down. There were a few times we thought we were going to lose him.

The stroke left him paralyzed on his left side and needing help with most daily functions. Seeing my dad go from the one who's always fixing everything to needing help with basic activities of daily living has been really hard. He also had trouble adjusting to such a drastic change. My mom has done an amazing job, being by his side every step and taking care of him at home. I'm grateful to her for this because it allowed not only me, but also my kids to spend more quality time with him.

Last week, he went to the hospital because of complications related to an infection. He was unresponsive and moved to hospice on Friday, where we knew he only had days left. I visited him Friday and Saturday and said my goodbyes before coming home.

My dad was always there to jump in and help me or anyone else. He supported me and was always in my corner, even when I was a brat. As I got older, he told me he was proud of who I became. I am glad he is not suffering anymore, but I am not at a point yet where I can imagine my world without him in it.

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