Facing Obstacles

I was originally going to give this post a title about organizing my thoughts or something, but I've started listening to some motivational content at night, and tonight's was about overcoming obstacles. That's when I realized that that's what I really should be focused on.

A quote from tonight was "look at your obstacle and give it the appropriate value, enough to make you productive." That may not make sense without context, but it basically means not letting your obstacles overwhelm you and stop you.

To be honest, I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed lately, which makes it hard for me to get focused on any one thing. I'm also very introverted, and I pull back inside my shell when I feel like this. So, in facing up to the feeling of being overwhelmed, I am blogging about it so as not to hide from the world.

My Plate Is Full
I wrote previously about all the changes happening. I've now got to handle all the housework and maintenance inside and out, which is a lot. I also have two freelance businesses -- one as a writer and one as a Beachbody coach -- that I have to figure out how to manage my time between. I'm also anxious (nervous? sad? excited?) about sending my first child to kindergarten and my youngest to preschool in the coming weeks. I hope to increase my freelance writing business, and I even have a phone interview for a job tomorrow, and I'm incredibly nervous.

The kids are not helping, either. Although individually they are sweet, loving, playful, funny little people, together they are loud, screaming, fighting little monsters. They are also confused and anxious about all the changes going on. My daughter has said repeatedly that she doesn't want to sell the house, and I have to reassure her again and again that all our stuff will go with us, that it doesn't matter where we live or what we have as long as we're all together.

After tonight's audio about overcoming obstacles, I realize that none of the things going on is a bad thing. I'm lucky to have the family I've got. I love them all dearly on their wonderful days and in the midst of their dysfunction. Yes, there's a lot going on, and it's overwhelming. It's also a good time for me to get scheduled and organized. With a daily routine and building up better, more productive habits, I can more easily see where and when I need to ask for help.

What do you do to get centered and maintain a positive focus when life gets overwhelming?

Starting a Family Budget - Tracking

Now that my husband is working again, we are looking for ways to save money. It's tough for everybody to find that extra little bit every month to put into different accounts. With both of us being 1099 employees, my husband and I have to also manage our own healthcare savings and retirement savings as well as emergency savings and college funds for the kids. Contract work varies, so you have to have a long view of income. One month may be great, and the next may be nothing, so saving becomes extremely important to cover the months off.

I read articles all the time about ways to save money, and most of them we already do. Starbucks is a problem for us, but we're working on it. Other than that, we don't buy a lot of extras when we go out. We eat probably 90% of our meals at home. So where do you find money to save when you're already following the financial gurus' advice?

Goals
I would love to answer that here, and I hope to be able to offer some advice in the coming months. For now, I'm setting goals for how we want to live and where we want to put our money. We've talked a lot about traveling and exposing the kids to different cultures. But I don't want to get into the trap of constantly chasing more money to be able to do that. Instead, I realize that we have more stuff than we need, and we don't need all these cheap, disposable things that are advertised to us. It's just a matter of limiting those impulse buys and conveniences that add to every grocery store or Target bill (or, this week, Ikea. Oops. The kids department is so hard to resist!).

To begin our journey to better household budgeting, I've set goals for where we want to dedicate any extra we can create:


1. Replenish our savings from the time out of work.
2. Start saving in an HSA.
3. Make regular contributions to retirement accounts.

Creating a budget
In the past, I've added up what we've spent at the end of every month to see where all our money is going. I've reduced every bill I possibly can over the past few years, so there's not much more we can do with fixed expenses.

With my husband just having started his job and having a lot of new expenses, I've got a few preliminary steps to do before I feel like I can set a true budget.

1. Track all expenses from August to determine our current spending.
2. Keep all receipts and add up impulse buys, unnecessary purchases, and one-time expenses (i.e., school supplies).
3. Develop realistic numbers to fill in spreadsheet.  

Because we're not together and, in essence, supporting two households during this contract period, we're sharing a spreadsheet that we both update. It is very detailed because the highly variable and semi-variable costs are the primary places we need to look to find extra money. That's also where most people don't realize how much they spend (according to advice I've read online).

Yes, this is detailed. My husband is an engineer and a whiz with Excel. We have many spreadsheets like this.

I'm hoping to be able to get a positive number in that bottom row that can then be applied toward my goals.

What do you do to budget? Where do you find the best ways to cut costs?

Major Life Changes

My husband left his job back in the first week of March with no other job lined up. The situation and travel had gotten unbearable, and it was best for everyone that he leave. We had been talking for a while about how to make a less stressful life, how we could find more balance. We had a lot of idealism and didn't expect his unemployment to go on for 5 months. Some of that idealism did start to fade, but not the push to change up our lifestyle and priorities.

Blanket fort!

He has a job now. It's a 6-month contract, and we are trying something new just like we said. We have many new challenges ahead of us. He's has left the permanent employment world for contracting (at least for 6 months), we're spending a lot of time apart, our house is up for sale, and my daughter starts kindergarten in 3 weeks. Sometimes it's pretty overwhelming to think about these things.

My favorite upgrade: this sink

Our house going up for sale is one of the bigger changes. We have no idea where we'll go next. It's a large house with plenty of space for everything we could ever need, but in an effort to change our lifestyle, we're looking to downsize by two bedrooms and at least 1,000 square feet.

It's a little sad to think of letting go of our home. It's where my husband and I really built our life together and started our family. We've put a lot of work into the home itself and created so many memories with the kids. I know my daughter's nervous about leaving the house, too.

We are hoping for the chance to find some balance and ways to put more of our money into doing things rather than having things. At least we have some stability for the next 6 months, and we are open to what life has in store for us next.