An Anniversary Tribute

Today is the one year anniversary of my dad's death. I could write a sentimental post about how I miss him every day, but that goes without saying. And I don't do well with sentimental. Instead, I'd like to dedicate this post to hospice, which was invaluable to my family during my dad's long struggle after stroke.

What is hospice?

Hospice care is too often under-appreciated and underused. It is supportive care given to people nearing the end of life. Hospice focuses on comfort and quality of life -- respecting the patient's final wishes -- not on cure.

For some people, hospice allows them to stay at home, surrounded by family, friends, and pets, rather than in a hospital bed. Hospice can also be provided at hospitals and in freestanding hospice houses.

The medical professionals, counselors, staff and volunteers who work for hospice organizations are amazing people. They make a difficult time far more bearable by their dedication and compassion.

Serving families

After the stroke, my dad was paralyzed on one side, leaving him unable to do many daily activities. He spent time in inpatient rehabilitation and then three months in a rehabilitation center, which was much like a nursing home. Then he came home, and my mom cared for him.

For the first year after stroke, he was in and out of the hospital. Frequent trips to the ER for infections or unknown pains led to scans, tests, and more medications - not to mention huge bills. Being in and out of the hospital also caused my mom to get sick more often as well.

Eventually, my dad said no more hospitals. That's when they sought out hospice and palliative care specialists. The nurses and staff worked with my parents to help minimize medications to only the essentials and gave them tools to help manage pain. They had options other than the ER, and the caregivers helped lessen the fear of my dad's situation, which held a lot of unknowns.

My dad spent up to five days at the Tucker Hospice House on two occasions as part of its respite care program. He received excellent attention and enjoyed the staff while my mom got a break.

My parents had a plan in place with the hospice house to respect my dad's final wishes. In May of last year, my dad had a febrile seizure that put him in a coma.  He was taken to the ER, but soon after moved to the hospice house where he spent the remaining week of his life. At the hospice house, he was surrounded by family and friends.

The atmosphere was much more family oriented and far less stressful than being in a hospital. The staff was wonderful. They took excellent care, not only of my dad but also my mom. They still reach out to my mom and provide bereavement services and grief counseling.

I can't say enough good about hospice and palliative care. I know others who spent their last days at home with family and friends under hospice care. It's always tough to lose someone you love, but having care providers who listen and respect your wishes is invaluable.

Some extra links

Hospice is not always well funded. The Tucker Hospice House that cared for my dad relies heavily on donations. If interested, you can make donations through the website.

This article from The New Yorker is a favorite of mine and gives an excellent view of the role of hospice care.